the mothering competition

my astonishing girls, so grown

I was at the pediatrician's office the other day with one of the girls, and there was two other mothers in the waiting room.  These two women were younger than me, each with a two year old and a pregnant belly.  It seemed they knew each other from the preschool their little ones attend.  The waiting room is very small and the doctor was on his way from attending a birth, so we were stuck together for about an hour.  Even though I had a novel, it was impossible not to listen in on their conversation.  Do you remember when your kids were little and everything they did seemed so remarkable?  They were like that and at first it made me nostalgic for my own grown babies whose every step had also once seemed so astonishing.

But their charming, nostalgia-inducing, chatter quickly became a competition: whose baby had the higher fever the night before, who had called the doctor later, and then, which baby talked more, and which one was more active.  If you could just hear yourselves, I thought.  Of course then I remembered similar conversations I had participated in when my kids were little.  Height and weight, eating and pooping, like it meant something that my baby was bigger than her baby.  It's ridiculous, and I am grateful to be long past all that.  It's not that mothers of older kids aren't competitive, but when someone starts moaning (proudly) about how many activities their kid is in, I just nod politely.

It was a good reminder though, and I have been mindful of it in my conversations with other mothers.  I am a somewhat competitive person and it's easy to get dragged into to it.  I guess, as mothers we all need confirmation that we are doing a good job (especially in those early years), and a mothering pissing match is one way to get that--just make sure no one overhears you because it does sound rather foolish.

clouds over Casco

We didn't make it to the beach this weekend but we got over to Casco Viejo for a walk.  We really never tire if it; there's always a building or alley we hadn't noticed before.  The clouds were very dramatic but we didn't get rained on.  It's my rule that we go somewhere that is not the mall on Sunday.

But it's a miracle I got out of the house at all this weekend.  I started reading A Song of Ice and Fire a couple of weeks ago and I am so caught up in it.  I kind of avoid this kind of thing because I know myself, and I am like an addict with a good fantasy series--I cannot stop until it's done and everything else takes a backseat to the books.  I skulk off at every opportunity to read; it is shameful and not very adult.  I begged off The Smurfs because of laundry, but really I just saw it as an opportunity to read.  Anyway I'm totally loving it--I was just thinking I should get book four loaded onto the kindle so it's all ready for me when I get home from teaching tonight.

Red Pepper Walnut Dip

So two Fridays ago I was thinking about quitting the recipes and then I made this:

It is delicious.  I dread recipes that have too many ingredients and ingredients I have to go to the health food store to find.  This is not that kind of recipe.  It is simple and fine for people with all kinds of dietary restrictions (vegan, gluten free, paleo--of course it wouldn't really work out for someone with a nut allergy).  I served it at a barbeque last week along with a more traditional dairy dip and our guests preferred the walnut dip (I was pretty surprised by this, as spinach dip is such a perennial favourite).  This dip is as rich and satisfying as anything with a cream cheese base, and roasted red peppers?  I think they are good in anything.

Red Pepper Walnut Dip


2 cups of walnuts (soak the walnuts for a couple of hours to soften them)
1 small jar of roasted red peppers drained (or roast your own by all means!--2 roasted peppers)
2 cloves garlic roughly chopped
1 teaspoon of cumin
3 tablespoons of olive oil
a generous squeeze of lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste

Heat the olive oil in a small pan, add the garlic and cumin.  Heat the oil gently, the idea is to infuse the oil with the cumin and garlic and to mellow the garlic.  Do not brown the garlic.  This will just take a couple of minutes on a low flame.

In a food processor puree the walnuts and the red pepper.  Add the olive oil and garlic/cumin.  Also add the lemon and salt and pepper. Pulse the food processor a few times to mix everything.  Taste it and adjust salt, pepper and lemon to your taste.

Enjoy!

10 K race ran

So I dragged my kids and husband out of bed early on Sunday to watch me race.  It was a beautiful sunny morning (it had rained all day Saturday).  I had a good run, not spectacular, but good, steady.  My goals were humble: to finish, and to not be out there more than an hour.  I was successful, even with a stomach ache that came on in the last kilometre.

This was only my second race and it kind of stressed me out.  I didn't sleep well the night before and the press of runners at the starting gate made me feel anxious.  Not a little anxious, but nervous tick, weirdo-anxious.  But as uncomfortable as I was, once we started, and runners spread out, the running was good, and the home stretch satisfying.  I totally get why people run races.  I hope I can learn to shake the nervousness though.   The 15K race is on August 28 and I would love to get a decent sleep the night before.

a birthday toast

It was my husband's birthday yesterday and we have three, established birthday traditions at our house.  One is champagne.  The champagne definitely comes from my Argentinian in-laws, I did not grow up with a champagne toast at every birthday (I am not complaining--I love this tradition!).  Another tradition is a homemade cake.  I usually try something overly ambitious that ends up being mostly a yummy mess.  This year I attempted a meringue torte that only kind of worked (I need to keep working on my meringue).  And the final tradition is random numbers of candles (or number candles) on the cake.  I never remember to buy candles and we always end up using what's in the back of the cutlery drawer (my husband is neither fifteen nor fifty-one--he would want me to clarify that).   After the cake and champagne this year we went out.

We went to a play.  We always enjoy theatre and it had been a while, so we decided to check out a new play.  Unfortunately, it wasn't very good.  The actor's were so young and hopeful, that we would have died of guilt had we ducked out at the intermission (and I'm telling you I wanted to).  We stuck it out.  The play really dragged and there was some physical theatre elements that were just embarrassing.  One actress had this swooshy, hair waving thing that made me cringe every time she did it.  Oh well, they took a risk and that is something.  It wasn't a perfect birthday, but we did get a few snarky laughs out of it on the way home.

Happy Birthday D!

another sunny Sunday

We got up early and headed out for breakfast at our favourite breakfast joint.  We had a yummy breakfast and then had to go back home and get shoes for the person who had earlier gotten into the car (to go to a restaurant!)  barefoot.  And then we were off, across the bridge, and on our way to the beach.

It was sunny and beautiful.  There were quite a few people around, but it was far from crowded.  Pony rides were had, books were read, and sandwiches were eaten.  It was a glorious day.

food on Friday

I  started this blog with the plan to do food and recipe posts on Fridays.  I love to cook; I've always loved to cook.  But I made some dramatic changes in my eating a couple of months ago, and it's changed how I cook and think about food.  It's also left me uncertain about what to write about here on Fridays.  I'm in the middle of an experiment and I'm not sure if it's too early to talk about results.

I decided to start experimenting with my diet because I was increasingly not feeling well.  I've had migraines my entire adult life but they were becoming more frequent and more debilitating.  And more than that, I just felt sort of lousy and tired all the time.  I had these running goals, but was bowing out of training way too often because of headaches.  So I did an internet search and the paleo diet came up over and over again.  I was skeptical (the concept still does not sit entirely comfortably with me), but there were so many testimonials that I decided to try it.

So if you don't know, to follow a paleo diet you stop eating sugar, dairy, grains and legumes (eat only things that were available to paleolithic humans).  It is low carb, high protein and it seems impossible at first.  I'm still struggling with the meat--I've always had vegetarian tendencies.  But, the headaches are gone, even the monthly menstrual migraine.  I can't explain this and I have no idea if this would be true for other people, but it's been amazing for me.  

Also, I don't ache.  I assumed my achey joints were just a natural outcome of years of treeplanting and I never even questioned it.  Three days into my paleo experiment and the stiffness in my hips was gone.  It seemed kind of miraculous at the time.  It was so unexpected that it convinced me that I was doing something right.

I feel good and I suspect there's no going back.  So how do I write about food when mostly I just cook meat and vegetables as simply as possible?  I don't know.  I've always been skeptical of special diets and believed in moderation.  But here I am, anything but moderate; one of those annoying people who won't even have a bite of pizza.  So I'm not sure.  It's possible that next week there'll be a recipe for hemp pumpkin seed bars, or I'll just stop writing about food all together because, frankly, I'm a little embarrassed.

Completely unrelated, I did an interview with  BlogExpat.  Check it out.