April fools

looks like a refreshing glass of orange juice...

My husband doesn't come from a practical joking family, but in my family practical jokes are venerated. I know about pranks my grandfather did before I was born. Practical jokes are woven into family history; no gathering is complete without a prank or at least the retelling of a favourite past joke. My husband is an excellent sport, and though he my have found my family's love of jokes a little odd at first, I would say he has embraced it, and has been even been responsible for some pretty good gags of his own. So obviously we celebrate April Fools' Day in my house. It is not celebrated in Panama, so it is a family tradition. And one that probably seems a little strange to my girls' friends, but it's something we really look forward to every year. And this year was no exception.

I didn't do anything elaborate this year. Slippery toilet seats and door knobs were as far as I went. But the kids really went for it. My husband and I have standing date with the gym on Sunday morning. I left knowing that the house would be booby-trapped when I got back. There was a lot of shaving cream in the bathroom, and I was offered some very yucky orange juice when I came in and there were Cheerios in the shoes. But the best was the water that crashed down on my husband when he opened his closet. It was fantastic, the best April Fools' Day ever according to my daughters.

My family would be proud.

Yes! we have bananas

our bananas are ready--which is cheering

I don't know why I'm so run down. I seem to go from stomach bug to sinus infection to cold... I don't usually get sick and I really hate it. I'm one of those people who secretly views illness in others as weakness, and I don't go any easier on myself. With my kids and husband, I can usually (for a day or two anyway) mask my exasperation; but I can't really hide it from myself. And I have really lost all patience with myself. This morning I woke up and began cataloguing all my failings... seriously, I am mean to me. When I finished making a list of every job I ever applied for and didn't get, I realized I had to get up and do something else. All this is to explain my light posting here. I'm sick and grumpy and terrible company.

I'm feeling better today than I did yesterday and I'm planning to be back in full force on Friday.

somebody who/that...

I'm the kind of person that takes too many pictures of her cat.

I've been teaching relative pronouns. I like guys that aren't too serious. I'm the kind of person who needs coffee in the morning. We use this structure to define and describe ourselves and others. It's intermediate grammar and my students always catch on fast. I think we come naturally to defining ourselves. I'm this, but certainly not that. I've been thinking a lot lately about this defining and describing. It comes up all the time with my kids and lately with myself.

Last night, I was leaving the house to go for a run when my neighbour called out to me. She said there was a toad in her house, and she needed help getting it out. I called my husband, I wanted to go for my run and figured he could deal with it. My husband went in, and then quickly came out and called me. It was upstairs, in the toilet. Well, this I had to see. It wasn't a toad, it was a frog. A big frog, like the kind they disect in biology class, swimming around the toilet bowl. Can't you just grab it? I asked my husband? He sheepishly, shook his head. With a plastic bag over my hand I grabbed the frog and took him out to the little creek than runs by our place. As I was going, my neighbour said, I knew she would do it, she loves animals. I was so surprised, I have never defined myself in this way. Because you know, my sister was the animal lover, I was the bookish one. Later, with my husband we laughed because, I had no problem grabbing the frog, but putting my hand in someone else's toilet (it was immaculate) totally grossed me out. For him, the toilet wasn't a problem, but he could not touch the frog.

I was telling my daughter this over breakfast. And I asked her, which kind of person are you: frog or toilet? She was frog of course. She's a lot like me in many ways. I'm making her go to sports camp but she hates it because, Mommy I'm not a sports person, I'm an arts person. I used to think exactly the same thing and I was totally wrong, and I wish I had figured it out sooner. I tell her, you can be both. Your brain will work better if you move your body. She doesn't believe me. She doesn't actually hate camp either; she hates the idea of it. She admits she has fun, but refuses to like it. I like to draw and tell stories, not do sports. I wish she wouldn't limit herself like that.

She'll probably figure it out though. One of these days someone (who's not her mom) will say, wow you're so strong. And she'll believe it and take it on, and define herself with it. Like me, the animal lover. I'm the kind of person who saves frogs from toilets. The perfect example sentence for my students tonight.

lull

blooming banana

What can I tell you? I am adjusting to vacation hours. My youngest is in day camp in the morning and my oldest is practicing lethargy and sloth (actually she doesn't need any practice, she's really good at it). And I need a project. I should do some baking, but nothing is inspiring me. Also, I forget to order the gas and now we are out. So I won't be doing any baking until the gas guys come. I should clean out a closet or something.

I will probably not clean out a closet. Although closet cleaning is a perfectly satisfying activity I'm itching for something bigger. It's raining again which is not helping my restless, dissatisfied mood. I will probably make some coffee and escape into a book. I should be grateful for this lull. I should be writing blogs and planning holiday menus and writing, just writing. But I'm stalled and stuck and I feel like doing nothing and everything. I need a project...

blooming in the backyard

y

Caesalpinia pulcherrima

There are beautiful things blooming in my backyard.  We spent the weekend at  home and enjoyed them.  We barbecued on Friday night.  The kids had friends over on Saturday and the detritus of their play is still in evidence all over the house.  It was alternately rainy and sunny and perfect for napping and reading.  I feel it is my duty to get my family out of the house and go for a walk or a bike ride, but this weekend I didn't insist.

ylang-ylang

We even went to the mall on Sunday.  I avoid the mall on the weekend; actually I feel that going to the mall on Sunday is a kind of surrender to the superficial tendencies of urban Panamanians (people here really love the mall).  But we did get some errands done and some some lovely ice cream was eaten.  It wasn't completely evil.

Also I ran a 10k race on Sunday morning.  This wasn't planned, I signed up on Saturday afternoon.  Thinking of it as a training run, I tried for 75% effort and ended up finishing with the same time I had three weeks ago when I raced.  I had to go to the bathroom the entire race.  I would tell myself that I would duck into the next gas station or restaurant and then I'd keep going.  This is pretty dumb I know, but it was easier to keep going, stay in my groove, than stopping.  It wasn't horrible, just uncomfortable.    I will be racing 15k this coming Sunday.  I'm feeling optimistic and ready and I'll definitely be making one last visit to the toilet before the race starts.

little birds

My daughter made a bird feeder for a school project.  It's funny how something so simple and small can bring so much pleasure.  We don't get anything too fancy or exotic at the feeder, but it is pleasing to watch the little birds that do come.

bunnies!

Against my better judgement, we got the girls a couple of baby bunnies.  My younger daughter has been asking for a rabbit every day for more than a year.  I have given her every argument: we have cats, bunnies scratch and dig, and the smell...  I have been saying no, and explaining why, for more than a year (every day).  It's not so much that she wore me down (although there certainly was some of that) it's more that it just started to seem mean to not get her a bunny.  She drew bunnies, talked about them and imagined them.  On long car trips we had to prohibit the topic of rabbits or she would drive us crazy.  She has been unrelenting and somehow it didn't seem fair to keep holding out.  And lately, holding out seems like something I do a lot.

My older daughter is the only girl in sixth grade without a blackberry, and her dearest wish is for a fancy phone.  She mentions it often but not incessantly; she was more insistant last year--I think we wore her down.  It pains me because I know she suffers.  But the phone is more complicated than the bunny.  I have ideas about materialism and overly technological childhoods; I was mostly just trying to avoid a nuisance by refusing the rabbit.  We tell her to wear her difference like a badge, "don't get sucked into all that materialistic crap."  But you know, easy for us to say, we aren't in the sixth grade.  I'm not entirely sure what to do about the phone.  I am getting my first fancy phone in the next week or two and I'm planning to share it with her.  It doesn't sit entirely comfortably with me (am I giving in?).

Funny thing about the bunnies, when we gave them to the girls my little one was strangely silent.  Later she asked me if people who get what they want are greedy.  She said she felt a little bit bad about getting the bunny; guilty.  I'm still not entirely sure what to make of this.  I told her that she shouldn't feel bad and that she should just enjoy her bunny; that we gave it with a lot of love.  She seems to be over her guilt now and is genuinely thrilled.  I'm waiting to see what her next obsession will be.  I hope it isn't a fancy phone.

on the mend

luckily, there's this in my yard because we sure haven't gone anywhere lately.

It's been a weird couple of weeks.  I've either been looking after someone sick or have been sick myself.  The fevers are all gone but we are a tired lot.  No one is eating as they usually do.  It's hard to cook when you don't feel like eating and we've been surviving on the plainest, simplest food imaginable (toast anyone?).  Every day I try to come up with something enticing, but nothing appeals to me.  The doctor said it takes a couple of weeks to fully get over a virus like this.   I look forward to feeling normal and feeling hungry.

I didn't run the 8k race I was signed up for on Sunday.  I did not feel very well and my husband was at his sickest.  It was disappointing but there's a 10k race in a month so I'm just setting my sights on that.   I'm better, but it's been really hard to get back into training.  There's a running mantra, "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."  And boy do I suffer after a few days off.  I know it's all in my head, but honestly I always feel like I'm going to die the first day back.  My body reverts to its natural slothful state and protests wildly, "oh, god, this again?  I thought we had stopped doing this."  Last night there were a lot of people out running.  It was a beautiful evening and all I could think of was how my stomach hurt, and my foot hurt, and my back felt tight, and how everyone seemed to be going faster than me.  It  was full on suffering and I could not stop.  So much of running is in your head which is one of the great things about it but also one of the worst things about it.

I'm hoping to get my running groove back this weekend.  I also hope to get my appetite back.  I've been looking at recipes online all morning and nothing is tempting me.  (This is the reason I haven't blogged all week--whining, that's all I got.  Sorry.)  Next week will be better.

kitties and cucumber

We were home all weekend.  Sick kid.  Rainy weather.

All this rain has been good for my daughter's cucumber plant.  She planted the seed at school three weeks ago and look at it--it's got buds!  (The cats even seem impressed.)  If it actually produces a cucumber, I know a certain seven-year-old who will be over the moon.

This just bit me

A bug that looks like a little pile of trash just bit me on the shoulder.  I have no idea how to describe it to identify it.  "bug that looks like tiny pile of trash" did not give me anything on google.  The joys of living in the tropics!

my morning and mamónes

So we are back into the regular school routine.  I had a great time hanging out with the girls last week, but I'm happy to have my contemplative mornings back.  Time alone recharges me; I feel up to just about anything if I've had a couple of hours to myself.  A bit of writing, some correction for my night class, laundry, lunch--I wouldn't really want to spend my mornings any other way.  This morning solitude suits me perfectly and I know I'm lucky to have it.  

 When I was teaching full time we had to do team building workshops (possibly my least favorite thing about working full time).  One workshop leader explained that introversion needed to be overcome, and that extroversion was the only way to be a successful person and productive team member.  Despite his earnestness, I could not take him seriously after that.  I'm pretty sure you can't overcome introversion, and honestly I wouldn't want to.  When I think about it, that guy was so off the mark about what we needed as a team of teachers, that he possibly did more harm than good.  I am undoubtedly an introvert, but I'm a pretty good teacher and every team needs a quiet listener.   Solitude makes me sane and team building exercises make me peevish.

So here I am, easy in my solitude.  I'm enjoying the last of the mamónes that came in our Culantro Rojo basket.  A bit of writing, some correction, laundry, lunch...  This is my morning and it's pretty great.

supermarket impulse buy

I know, right?

the backyard

After living in Panama a year (our rent was raised) we decided to buy a house.  I took on the house-hunting, and it was very discouraging.  I would optimistically get into the realtor's car only to view huge, air-conditioned monstrosities with postage stamp yards.  I didn't see one place I liked.  I wanted to live in the city, not a suburban gated community.  I wanted a walking-distance, supermarket,  and a nice park for the kids.  I also wanted a yard.  The neighbourhood we were living in had this kind of house, but there didn't seem to be any places for sale around that we could afford.

One day, on my way to the store, I saw an inconspicuous for-sale sign.  I immediately called the realtor and made an appointment.  The first appointment was cancelled by the owner.  I made another appointment; she cancelled three times before I finally got to see the house.  It really seemed like it wasn't going to happen.  The woman suffered frequent migraines and in fact, when I did finally see the house, she was in bed.

. 

One look at the backyard and I knew it was our house.  We've lived here almost three years now and I was not wrong.

Nepenthe

hedge

budding bastón del rey

home to iguanas

pickles on the grill

We often barbeque.  A meal of grilled meat, green salad and loaf of bread is a wonderful thing (a respectful nod to my Argentine in-laws who taught me everything I know about grilling!) .  Wash that down with big glasses of red wine and club soda and you have something like perfection!  It's the kind of eating that suits this climate. 


Last night, needing some inspiration, I took a look at Mark Bittman's list of grill recipes, and decided to give the grilled pickles a try.  I love anything pickley, and I was in the mood for doing something weird, but easy so...


I sliced five medium sized cucumbers lengthwise and grilled them quickly while the grill was hot (too hot for meat).  The cucumbers came off the grill with grill-marks on the cut side, and slightly charred on the peel side.

I chopped them roughly, but I think I'd go for a finer slice next time.

I put the pickles in a bowl with some course salt, white vinegar, and sugar to my taste (more salty and sour than sweet).

They were good, kid-friendly and simple.  I think they'd be better with some grilled pepper and onion (unfortunately, my kids won't eat onions and peppers).


Of course we didn't just have pickles for supper.  I grilled some steak, rolled chicken breast (also from Bittman's list) and chorizo.

The perfect end to a busy Saturday.  Everything was great, except the green salad.  I had added some truffle oil to the vinaigrette, and it turns out I don't like truffle oil.  So don't believe the hype about truffle oil; a few drops can ruin a perfectly good salad.