Sunday, September 16, 2012

not so great

I ran a 15k race this morning and it was not fun. It was awful actually.

This past week I've been battling something viral. It was in my sinuses and I just felt headachy and yucky all week. I didn't even run. Every night I felt too wiped and every morning there would be my sinus throbbing under my eye. And I wasn't that sick. I wasn't sick enough to stay in bed or really garner any sympathy. I went to my night class, and my volunteer gig, and made buns. Oh, and I kept questioning myself, am I really sick? I even wished I was more sick so I could justify staying in bed. I would say that both physically and mentally, it was not a great week. I felt rotten and pretty much alternated between self-pity and self-loathing the entire week. And that is exactly how the race went.

I felt okay, no sinus headache, definitely much better. I had googled, the night before,  how long it takes to lose your conditioning and I concluded that I would be fine. I wasn't fine. I   felt low, and about 5 k in, my left hip became furious. I could feel a muscle in my thigh curling into a cramp. This, I'm pretty sure is a result of not running all week. My legs were tight. Things did not get better. At 10k I was trying to remember a mantra about pain, and I was sure that if I could just call it to mind things would be so much better ... I couldn't, and instead I started thinking about how miserable I was. The words this is hell are not an effective running mantra by the way. I couldn't stop thinking about the pain in my hip and how rotten I felt. I knew this was not a good thing to be doing, but I couldn't, and didn't stop. It's actually remarkable that I wasn't crying when I crossed the finish line.

It's disappointing because my training's been going well. I had been really looking forward to this race. I probably shouldn't have run it.

The running mantra I was trying to remember was, Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I'm not sure it would have helped, but it is a pretty accurate description of the situation.


  1. As a runner, I know what you felt like! I hope today is a wonderful pain free day. Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. please let us know you are ok and enjoying life.
    thank you,
    s jones

  3. Hi Laura,

    My name is Ira Yeap and I work for a morning radio show called Our City with Kirk Lapointe on Roundhouse Radio 98.3 in Vancouver. I stumbled upon your website.

    Every morning, Kirk does a callout to expats living around the world about their experiences and influences they’ve taken away from Vancouver. We define an expat as anyone who has spent time in Vancouver, knows the city, and can compare the way of life here to the way of life elsewhere. We delve into issues that are top of mind in the place where the expat is now living. The interviewee functions like a casual, conversational correspondent, giving us a local's insight into how the news, or particular cultural events, are playing out in their area. For example, we might talk to someone in Washington D.C. about the American presidential race. We might talk with someone in Hong Kong about recent clashes in the streets with police. We might talk to someone in L.A. about the Oscars. The purpose of this segment is to take advantage of the collective insight of Vancouverites (or former Vancouverites) around the world & deepen the international dialogue on our show.

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